silent guardian

i'll make my try under cover of darkness and under cover of storm

ben staad


when was it last that i told myself that i could be better than who i am now, that i can do better than what i have? It has been long ago as i have been thinking that i already am truly happy and that i do deserve this owned happiness. for some lenght of time i did believe that this is true. that there really nothing that i want more, not that i have everything. only that i have what most do not and that i have settled to be content with all those that are indeed mine to call.

i have learned early on in life not to be covetous of others' possesions nor envious of others' station i life. growing up as a middle child two a brother who was the first born in our generation in the 'clan' and another brother who had a serious heart condition and hearing impaired have forced me to resort to being some sort of a make-yourself-happy kind of kid. No, i had no imaginary playmates, i had real ones a plenty. it's just that i've gained the ability to understand and be patient with other children and also with adults at a very tender age. i've figured out a lot about how things work in everyday life and in actually trying iving life.

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you know that has all gone now. i now covet him of you. i know not how to be happy without you. sorry for the try.