where am I?

There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery...

Dante Alighieri
in "The Inferno"

how can one be so excited and horribly terrified at the same time?
yet, such feelings are experienced by one such as I
here, now

how can fear suddenly descend again and again about losing something
when it had already been lost and for that which was never had?

and what is in that kind of nostalgic feeling one has for a past
that happened only to one's self

where have I been,

and where the hell am I now?

the seven circles of truth