proxy

he was my first boyfriend's bestfriend. i was thirteen when i first encountered anja.
he was seventeen but he was already an old man and my boyfriend was a little boy of sixteen.

he taught me my algebra and i made his art projects. he read me poetry while i watch augie play hoops.
he read the stories i wrote and he made me read his essays.

he made me laugh without really trying hard to be funny. ajna made me laugh because i had tears in my eyes.
he made me laugh because he loves seeing me laugh. he made me laugh because he wanted me to be happy.

he never held my hand nor gave me his shoulder to cry on. he never wiped my tears either.
instead, he leaned on my shoulder and he too cried for me.
he had more tears flowing and i held both his cheeks in my hands.

he sang me lullabies on the phone when augie is burning the line. he sang me love songs about the moon.
he sang me praises for my attributes that he has invented. he sang and he sang but he couldn't even sing.

TBC...


or enough of ajna


the one i never had was the stand-in of my boyfriend